A Vision Too Removed To Mention
by skippingcharade
Summary: Kurt swore he'd never say goodbye, and through thick and thin he intends to keep that promise. In which Kurt never, ever gives up and Blaine can't remember why. Klaine, future!fic, warnings for memory loss.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Warning for extreme memory loss (and sadness)**

******The title is taken from** _The Trapeze Swinger_ by Iron and Wine, which was what also largely inspired this fic.

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.**

* * *

"Have you ever been in love?" The question takes Kurt by surprise, and he smiles slightly and nods.

"Just once."

"Tell me about it?" He asks hesitantly, as if not sure if this was an okay thing to ask.

Kurt folds the corner of his magazine and sets it aside, "What do you want to know?" He asks, smiling at him to show he's okay with the topic.

"Everything." He blinks, then smiles sheepishly. "Everything you're comfortable sharing, that is."

Kurt takes a deep breath and smiles a bit, sad and bittersweet. "He was my first love. My one and only. We got together near the end of my junior year of high school-"

"You were high school sweethearts?"

Kurt nods again. "Yeah, we were."

He grins, large and happy. "That's really sweet."

"Yeah, it was...indescribable." Kurt looks down at his hands, twirling the white-gold wedding band around his finger as he talks. "I loved him since the moment I saw him, but it took him a bit longer to realize. We had known each other for a few months before it clicked for him, but when it did...my whole life changed. It was that...epic, earth shattering, life changing kind of romance. He was everything to me since the day I met him. He's still everything to me. Always will be."

They sit quietly for awhile, and Kurt is reaching for his magazine when his voice breaks the silence.

"I was in love once, too." He says suddenly.

Kurt looks up and cocks his head to the side. "Oh yeah?"

"Yep."

"How do you, um…" Kurt closes his eyes for a moment, takes a deep breath. "How do you know?"

He smiles and gives a small shrug. "I just do. I can feel it."

Kurt smiles at him, "Explain?"

"Sometimes, when I'm just sitting or not really doing anything, I have these sort of...flashes. But its not really memories, I don't think, it's just _feelings. _Like, I'll be listening to music and a certain song will come on, or I'll be drinking coffee or something, and I'm just...struck by these _feelings_." He smiles a little ruefully. "And I think it must be love, because if it isn't...and I ever _do_ experience what being in love is like...well, I think it might kill me."

Kurt can't help but laugh, even though he feels the familiar sensation of pressure behind his eyes. "Yeah, its definitely a powerful thing."

"That boy you were talking about - the one you loved - you're not...together anymore?" His voice is small and hesitant.

"Um…" Kurt takes a shuddering breath and presses his lips together, blinking rapidly. "Uh, no, I-I guess we're not. Not anymore."

"What happened?"

Kurt's voice is hoarse when he says, "There was - there was an accident."

He closes his eyes and sees it all flashing before him-

_-hands clasped together over the console, seeing Blaine look over at him, neither noticing the rapidly approaching headlights-_

_-sirens, people yelling, and Kurt is screaming, "Blaine, Blaine, Blaine…" -_

_- "We're sorry, Mr. Hummel-Anderson, you're husband is in a coma and we're not sure when he's going to wake up…" -_

_-sitting next to Blaine's bed, clutching his limp hand, "Please wake up, Blaine, please. Please please please I need you please wake up please…"- _

_-the phone ringing at 3am, Kurt expecting the worst, but then "He's awake."-_

_-barging through Blaine's room door and seeing those eyes that he hasn't seen in _months, _seeing Blaine, and hearing the words that tipped his world straight back into darkness, "I'm sorry, who are you?" -_

_- screaming at the nurses, "What is going on, why doesn't he know me, what happened, fix this!" _

_and the calm, emotionless tone of the nurses, "Mr. Hummel-Anderson, you're husband seems to be experiencing extreme memory loss, and I'm afraid there's nothing we can do for him." _

_Kurt's whole body wracking with sobs, distraught and desperate, screaming at anyone who will listen, anyone who can hear him. "He'll remember me, he'll remember me, he _has _to remember me, he will, he know's me, Blaine please, please…" - _

-Kurt opens his eyes, a single tear falling down his cheek. "There was an accident, and he-" Kurt chokes on a sob.

"He didn't make it." Its soft, not a question but a statement. Kurt shakes his head.

"No, he...he's alive. He, um...he hit his head really hard, in the accident, and he...doesn't remember me."

"Oh." A silence, then, "I'm sorry, Kurt. That must be really hard for you."

Kurt laughs, but its choked and bitter. "Yeah, it's been indescribably tough." But that doesn't begin to cut it, what its been like, but he can't say it out loud, can't say what he's feeling out loud. _Somedays I feel like I can't go on so I'll just sit at home by myself and I just replay what happened in my head over and over, hating myself. I could have changed this, I could have saved him. I should have been more careful, I should have noticed the car, if only I had been smart enough to swerve out of the way he would still be with me, I'm sorry, Blaine. _

Kurt needs to leave, needs to get out of there. He starts packing his things together, and turns to look at him, puts on his best smile, and says, "I believe I should be going!"

"Okay." His voice is sad, but he smiles anyway. "You'll be back tomorrow?"

Kurt nods, clears his throat, says quietly, "Of course."

He makes it to the door and is about to exit when he hears, "Kurt, I know this is probably not the right thing to say, but…" Kurt turns back to look at him, watches as he swallows and drags his eyes up to meet Kurt's. "I don't really, um, get how your husband could forget you. You're...you are pretty unforgettable, in my opinion."

And Kurt can't hold back anymore, its like a _dam _breaking, and the tears are flowing, fast, so fast. "Thank you." It comes out as a whisper, "I'll see you tomorrow, Blaine."

Then he goes quickly, leaving his life behind in a hospital bed.

* * *

**If you would take a minute to tell me what you think, that would be largely appreciated. This was very hard to write and I'm not quite sure what to think of it. **

**My tumblr is skippingcharade and is linked in my profile if anyone is interested in that sort of thing, its basically a Klaine/Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson/Chris Colfer/Darren Criss/Quinn Fabray/Dianna Agron shrine! :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Had some requests to continue, so here we are!**

* * *

Kurt makes it a few steps out the door before he breaks down completely, leaning on the wall just outside Blaine's room door, heaving in shuddering breaths and trying to get his bearings. He can't be here anymore, _knows_ that, needs to leave because Blaine will _hear_ him and ask him about it when he comes to visit tomorrow and Kurt will have to _tell _him, and _god, I can't, I can't tell him, especially now, I _can't_ tell him. _

Kurt has to tell him.

He's been considering it for awhile, toying with the idea of telling Blaine the truth, telling him _everything. _Then, when Blaine is released from the hospital, he could go _home_ with Kurt if he wanted, back to their apartment.

The apartment that hasn't felt like home to Kurt since the accident.

In reality, Kurt hasn't been spending much time there. He goes back occasionally, checks things and makes sure everything is in place, gathers some clothes, then heads back to Finn's place - or if he decides Finn's probably sick of him by now, he'll head to Quinn's or Tina's or Santana's or whoever he decides he hasn't driven crazy yet. And even though they tell him time and time again he's welcome whenever, he still feels like an intrusion, like he doesn't belong there and like they don't _want_ him around. Kurt laughs, bitter and loud through his tears, thinks, _Old habits die hard, I guess. _

He never felt like an intrusion when he was with Blaine.

He supposes he could just try to stay in the apartment alone again, but the first night, the _only _night he's spent there since the accident, was when they didn't know if Blaine would ever wake up, if he was even going to be _okay. _It had been two days since the accident and Blaine's condition was still critical, he was touch and go, they had to restart his heart _twice_, and Kurt hadn't left the hospital yet, wasn't leaving, wasn't going to leave, _refused_ to leave.

Until his dad had shown up, hugged him _hard, _shoved him towards the door and into a cab, said he'd call if there was any news.

So Kurt went home, curled up in Blaine's shirts and cried, cried for _hours,_ and this was _not _how his life was supposed to go, he should _not _have to be afraid to be a widower at 24, he should _not_ have to deal with this _shit _so young, and _God, why Blaine, why not anyone else, anyone but Blaine, why hadn't I been more careful, I should have been paying closer attention, Blaine I'm sorry this is all my fault, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. _

_This is all my fault. _

That night was the hardest.

But now he's here, and its been _months_, and he visits everyday, every _single_ day, still can't go home for a night, can't be in that place on his own.

He can't go back until Blaine can come with him.

Which is why he has to tell him.

He _has _to, knows this, knows how unfair it is to Blaine that he's being kept in the dark, but _god, _what if Blaine _never _remembers, what if Blaine blames him for the accident (the bitter, twisted part of Kurt's brain snarls, _rightfully so_), or, worst of all, what if Blaine just doesn't want him anymore.

Kurt draws in a harsh breath and lets it out slowly, wipes his eyes, thinks, _Stop it. _Even if Blaine never remembers or blames him, Kurt will fight for him, fight forever, because Blaine is the love of his goddamn life and Kurt is not about to give that up, _ever. _

He turns, and with a deep breath, goes back into Blaine's room.

* * *

Blaine looks shocked and _pleased_ that Kurt is back, eyes lighting up and a beautiful smile blooming across his face. He says, voice warm and happy, "Did you forget something?"

Kurt _almost_ laughs, bites it back, nods. "Blaine, there's...something I need to tell you." Blaine nods and Kurt crosses the room to the hospital bed, hesitates for a second before taking Blaine's hand, watches as Blaine's eyes widen impossibly large, eyelashes fluttering.

_God_, he's beautiful.

"I...I probably should have told you awhile ago, I don't know _why _I didn't, I was just so _scared_, but. Blaine. My husband? The one I was telling you about? The one who...doesn't remember me?"

Blaine nods again, doesn't say anything, just _watches_ him, so intently and earnestly and Kurt feels the tears well again, closes his eyes, breathes in and out, in and out.

When he talks again, his voice is small. Muted. "Blaine...you're him. You're my husband. My high school sweetheart, the love of my life, the only man I will _ever _be in love with, and there was an accident, and you forgot all about me, about _us_, and I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry, I'm _sorry_."

Kurt is crying now, tears streaming down his face, and Blaine is silent, hasn't said a word. They stay like this for awhile, hands clasped tightly together, until Blaine pulls his away with a sharp inhale.

When Kurt looks at him his eyes are confused, _hurt, _and Kurt's heart aches. "Blaine-"

Blaine's eyes flutter closed at his name and he breathes deep through his nose, opens them, "Kurt, I need to know if you're telling the truth."

Kurt blinks. "Of - Blaine, of _course_ I'm telling the truth. What, like I'd make this up?"

"Why didn't you _tell _me, Kurt?" His voice is so full of hurt, steadily rising in volume, and Kurt hunches his shoulders a bit, tries to make himself seem smaller, make himself disappear, his brain screaming, over and over, _this was a mistake this was a mistake this was a mistake. _

He has to try to fix this, reaches for Blaine's hand. It jerks away from him. "Blaine, I wanted to, I did, but-"

"But _what_, Kurt?" Blaine cuts him off, then laughs, sudden and harsh. "You know how I told you someone loved me? I wasn't lying about feeling things occasionally, but that wasn't what really gave it away. There's not much to do around here when you're gone, what with not being allowed to leave this bed for more than a few hours a day, so I spend a lot of time staring at my hands. And you know what I noticed?" He presses on without waiting for Kurt to respond, "There's a tan line on the ring finger of my left hand. A tan line that would fit a wedding band." He meets Kurt's gaze, eyes shining with tears. "So I knew someone loved me. I knew I was married. So I waited. I've _been _waiting, for the day my 'husband' comes to visit. But no one ever comes. No man ever comes and says, 'Hi, I'm your husband.' No one comes to visit but my parents and Cooper and _you _and Burt and some other people saying they were my friends, but no one ever claiming they had loved me or they were the person I married. But I _knew_ I was married. So I just thought…" Blaine trails off, then, blinks and wipes at his eyes, "I thought maybe they just gave up. I knew I had been in that coma for a long time and I thought...I thought they figured I wasn't going to wake up or I wasn't worth waiting for and they just left." Blaine is crying in earnest, then, tears streaking down his cheeks, "Left me on my own without so much as a goodbye."

Kurt inhales sharply, and, without thinking, climbs into the bed with Blaine and pulls him into his chest, holding him as he cries. "No, baby, no. I would never leave you, I made a promise, we don't…" He trails off and Blaine raises his head, blinking up at Kurt questioningly through his tears. Kurt smiles softly at him, one hand playing idly with the curls at the nape of his neck. "We don't say goodbye to each other."

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**A/N: So, I don't know what this is or how long its going to be or if its even going to continue, but I would _like_ to continue, I just lack motivation, etc. So! Feel free to drop by my tumblr (skippingcharade, link is in my profile) anytime and jab me and tell me to keep going! **

**Reviews would make my day :) **


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